Stop The Rot
Weigh Day #21
Weight – 123.9 Kilograms, 19.51 Stone, 273.15 Pounds
Weekly Weight Gain – 0.3 Kilograms, 0.66 Pounds
Total Weight Loss – 13.8 Kilograms, 2.17 Stone, 30.42 Pounds
BMI – 38 (Obese), Total BMI Loss – 4.3, Check Your BMI
Weekly Summary
Enough Is Enough
I need to stop the rot. Starting right now. Today. Not tomorrow or next week. Today. This needs to sink into my brain.
As I reported earlier in the week, I feel like I’ve hit a wall. No, not even feel, I have hit a wall. A massive bloody wall and one I’m finding impossible to break down. Been there, done that but what to do? It’s time for some tough love to myself to get myself out of this. It’s no surprise there has been a slight, and it is only slight, weight gain. I’m calling myself to arms. A rallying cry. I’ve been stuck in this rut for way too long now.
Where Do I Go From Here?
I’ve now got the stage where I’m repeating endlessly but there has been no proper effort to stop the rot. Yesterday, marked the five-month anniversary since beginning. And the problem with quick-fire solutions is they never sustain long-term problems. What I mean is it’s all very well counting my calories but recently I’ve been mostly eating the wrong foods. A recipe for disaster. This is not the way to succeed in my ultimate goal of a healthy BMI. I simply have to start eating better and dropping those two most evil substances – alcohol and sugar. It’s finally beginning to sink in that change has to be permanent, not temporary.
Tried & Failed
I’ve tried and failed to live a life where you can have a ‘little of what you fancy’ and sustain a long-term weight loss plan. I’m accepting and admitting I find it impossible to do this. I’m harking back to the good days of January when not one drop of alcohol touched my lips and sugar intake was minimal at best. I firmly believe unless you’re super strong and not prone to the addictive nature of either (or both!) then consumption makes long-term weight loss almost impossible. But we’re all human and we’re all different!
Totalling The Figures…
Where It Went Wrong
I’ve been studying the figures (and it’s great to have such figures to hand!) and this rot started at the beginning of February. It’s no coincidence that was the very day I went out for my first alcoholic beverage since Christmas. January was a marvellous month, no booze and lost 5.7 kilos (12.56 pounds) between 30 December and 3 February. I worked and focused hard during this period. In a longer period since I’ve managed to lose 1.4 kilos (3.08 Pounds). A massive difference and at least, the problems can be pinpointed….
Another Disastrous Week
No doubt, the damage was done with stupid drinking at the Yard Act gig on Saturday followed by the most ridiculous amount of eating and throwing up I’ve experienced since I started. It was like a hark back to the bad old days! Bear in mind, I used to behave like this most weekends! The week didn’t improve. I was counting calories and trying to watch what I was eating but with a plethora of goodies at work, I eventually caved in. And started picking at the chocolates. And not counting them, I didn’t have that many but that’s not the point. The point is letting sugar squirm in my system.
And therein lies my two biggest problems. Alcohol at the weekend followed by sugar during the week. A recipe for disaster and so it proved!
Change Your Mindset
To Stop The Rot
Of course, I’ve been here before. I do feel a little on edge and out of control at the moment which is never good. It’s times like this, I believe the ‘happy pills’ (Sertraline) stop me from going completely loopy and caving in. Similar to the way they helped me last summer when everything was out of control. As I always stipulate, a good chunk of a healthier lifestyle is firmly in your mindset. Over the last six weeks, my mind has caved in too easily, too often and this makes me feel somewhat useless and weak.
Don’t Despair!
The good news is, that I’ve firmly addressed the problems, analysed the figures and admitted to myself where I’ve gone wrong. I’m constantly reminding the positives and blanking the negatives. Yes, progression’s been hampered, but I’ve not put anything on. I’ve still lost. This is what you need to take to progress to the next stage. I still felt fantastic when I walked the lord of the Freeloaders around the local park yesterday. A spring in my step and barely out of breath.
Moving Forward
Action Now To Stop The Rot!
I’ve been saying this for a while but I urgently need a detox period. One where I’m ridiculously strict with myself. I’m going to read every blog so far this week in order and take notes. A complete back-to-basics! Yesterday was a write-off as my sister and her partner were in town and we went for an excellent meal in our favourite restaurant, Istanbul on Cheetham Hill Road. The main meal was wonderfully healthy but me and Larice shared a dessert because the Baklava is to die for!
Me, Christine and Colin attended the Manchester women’s derby at the Etihad Stadium. The queues for the tram back to HQ were so ridiculously long, that we decided to walk the 2.1 miles (3.37 Km) back to the house. I certainly got the steps in yesterday. Just under 15000. At least this Sunday I’m not nursing a nasty hangover eating everything and anything!
Clinging Onto Positives
I have to start now! I must do a lot of mind reprogramming and take each day as it comes. My monthly Zoom meeting with More Life is tomorrow morning. Heartedly looking forward because there’s nothing better than conversing with people in a similar situation to your own. It’s been six weeks, ironically, since the last one when I had hopes and aspirations of being 120 kilos by the time of the next meeting! Also ironic that after the last meeting, of which I came out feeling extremely positive, is when the rot started.
I hasten to add this is not the fault of More Life! This is the fault of me, just a coincidence! I’ve caved in like a house of cards. Too many life events, too much wavering and letting my guard down. Too much weakness. I must stop the rot. Now.
