Ground Zero
In The Beginning…
Ground Zero. The start of a long and arduous journey. Where it will lead I have no idea but I’m determined to get there in the end. There will be highs, there will be lows. Wish me luck!
Starting Weight
Weight – 137.7 Kilograms, 21.68 Stone, 303.47 Pounds
BMI – 42.4 (Obese)
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The Beginning
The Struggle Is Real
Ground Zero. Where the journey begins. No more excuses, messing about, false dawns and false promises. I hate what I have become. Yet am optimistic about the future. What exactly has changed? And those are not my feet! Trust me, this is what I weigh. I cannot express how appalled I am.
I’ve piled on the weight in the 18 months. Literally. In June 2022, I was 119 kilos. I was overweight but nothing I am like now. All I know, is I am sick to the back teeth of being this obese. I’ve fallen into many bad habits which I’ve found difficult to break. Nearly 138 kilos, what a starting point! The only way is down from this point on.
Helping Hand
Change Of Lifestyle
Today, I had my first Zoom meeting with an NHS-run thing called ‘More Life’. And very good it was too. I’ve already changed my way of thinking. We are meeting every Monday morning and it’s great to hang out albeit virtually, with people wanting to take the same journey. I’ve deciphered it is nearly impossible to do these things alone.
I’m telling myself a hundred times a day “This is not a diet” because it isn’t. This is a lifestyle change. I’ve been weak for so long. So much of what we become is embedded in our minds. I’d fallen into traps where eating and drinking were completely out of control. Weight quickly and efficiently piling on. Desperately wanting to change but not desperate enough to implement the change. That is an awful place to be. We all need a helping hand.
I left that first meeting feeling very positive. I feel like I am embarking on a new journey which is only going to give me more happiness in life. For the first time in a long, long time, I am feeling enthusiastic. Change is always tricky. I can’t believe what I have become but I do believe that you can change when necessary because we must embrace change.
Difficult Year
One of the topics which came up in the meeting was ‘why now’. This, I found most interesting as I have been slowly but surely piling on weight these past 18 months. The answer to that for me was now felt like the right time to implement change. The meeting, the seeing other people in the same position as me, all with a common bond. I’ve known about this first meeting for a few weeks. I found myself desperately binge eating Sunday evening as if it would be the last time.
I’ve already made one major lifestyle change this year giving up smoking. That has been damn hard, but I’ve stuck it out. Five days short of seven months, I still crave cigarettes but with lungs so shot, any temptation to smoke is soon eradicated. I even bloody dream about cigarettes! But I’ve stayed firm and I am still standing. I cannot quite believe it myself. What this has proved is I can make a major lifestyle change when I must.
All In The Mind?
And you know what? Most of these changes are psychological. I have so many bad habits to break but have learned to do them one at a time and not despair if I break them. Diets generally fail because whilst encouraging you to eat less, they give you the wrong mindset about weight loss. From this day on, I am reprogramming myself from a dieter to one implementing lifestyle change. Small changes will lead to bigger changes over time. I am realising this is a marathon, not a sprint. Even on day one, I tried eating smaller portions on smaller plates and chewing longer. I’ve always eaten way too fast like my life is dependent on it.
The last thing at night and an old habit kicked in. Whilst I didn’t particularly overeat, I did sit down in front of the telly with a sandwich and a few snacks. The difference this time was that I didn’t beat myself up like normal. At the moment, I am counting calories and seeing if this has any effect. One of the many things I learned today was that you have to try different things to meet your goals. You must stay committed and be honest with yourself and those around you. You must stay focused.
I’m getting a new way of thinking completely wrapped inside my brain. To get everything around your head will take time. Every change must be small. I don’t want to go back to that desperately unhappy soul, snacking in front of the TV every night and binge-drinking on a Saturday. The goals set can be accomplished but only with dedication and hard work. This has to come from within to succeed.
Ground Zero Tip Sheet
I’ve put together a tip sheet.
